


Good luck, Yuuri!

by QueenXIV



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anal Sex, Aw Poor Yuuri, But no actual abortion, But not specified - Freeform, Drunk Sex, I will probably add tags, If you want to see it as such, Kinda, M/M, Mpreg, Talk of Abortion, Victor gave Yuuri a little gift
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2018-10-14 22:47:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10545638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenXIV/pseuds/QueenXIV
Summary: Yuuri did remember the banquet night, after his huge failure. Oh boy, did he remember it. It would ruin his whole career (or what was left of it... if any) and probably his idol's career if he ever found out. Yuuri would make sure he didn't. Of course, Victor never does what the others want him to do.Yuuri finds out he is pregnant with Victor's child a few months after that night at the banquet. Crazy, right? His life is spiralling out of control, but luckily he is in Hasetsu, he is safe there. Until Victor comes, that's it. And he wants to train him? What?Good luck, Yuuri, you'll need it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okey, so the title might change cause it's shit you know? But I couldn't come up with anything better so there's that. Also, yaaaay mpreg I've been dddddying to write some of that buuuut, people are so judgemental of it that I was honestly afraid. And I started another fic, didn't recieve the attention that I expected (I put a lot of work into it...) so, I started this one that is much more fun to write and read.. .I hope. 
> 
> So, the events before the banquet all happen the same and of course, it all changes from there. Poor Yuuri, always making him suffer. 
> 
> So! I hope you like it, I will try to update once a week at least but I'm in uni so no promises. 
> 
> Also, don't expect chapters longer or even as long as this one... This is just the first chapter and I was very excited. Some things are explained and basically Yuuri pukes a lot... The good is yet to come.

 

_His hands were all over me, touching me in places I had never been touched before making my body shiver with pleasure. My breath came out ragged against his lips and he kissed me breathless again, his hands travelling down my sides until he grabbed my thighs, making me rise my legs. I put my thighs around his body, trembling slightly out of nervousness. The buzz of the alcohol was still present, but I was very much aware of my surroundings: how the cheap hotel linen scratched my back, how my neck hurt from raising my head to reach his lips and his neck, how his lips lit fire as they travelled across my shoulders and neck, how his hands clenched around my body, how he started to breach me slowly and carefully, trying not to hurt me._

_“Are you okay?”_

_“Yes, yes, don’t stop.” I gasped, winding my arms around his shoulders and grasping hard. The alcohol was doing wonders to make me forget about the pain. His mouth tasted like vodka, and probably mine tasted like champagne. This was a mistake, the rational part of my mind provided. But I didn’t care, not at that moment, not when I had him in my arms. Not when I was in his arms._

_Slowly he entered me until he was fully in and we both stood still for a few seconds, trying to regain our breaths and calm down for it to last longer. With a slight movement of my hips I signalled to him that I was ready and he started thrusting slowly. But our pleasure, that had been already prolonged during our foreplay, began to build up and his pace quickened, and as his orgasm approached his thrusts became erratic and I started to raise my hips to meet him and bring him deeper into me._

_“Yuuri, Yuuri…” He moaned before joining our lips in a messy kiss full of tongue. With one last thrust I came just as he stilled, his orgasm hitting him because I clenched hard around him. And as I came between us, our bodies tightly joined, I moaned his name:_

_“Victor!”_

Yuuri tumbled down the airplane aisle, wanting nothing more than to be able to sleep. He returned from the toilet, where he had spent the majority of the journey, throwing up everything he consumed. He could have blamed it on airsickness, but he never got airsick and he had done quite a lot of plane journeys, and also, these symptoms had started before he had even got on the plane. He had had to throw up before embarking, on the airport toilets. He hadn’t told Phichit or his (ex)coach, Celestino, then, but on the plane it was hard to give an excuse to why he was going to the bathroom every half an hour or so. He had been able to sleep for two hours, in which he had been spared of puking his guts out, but now he was back at it again. Thankfully, it was only an hour until the plane landed on Tokyo.

Even though Yuuri had decided to take the next season off and he hadn’t been able to qualify for the Worlds due to his disastrous performances after the Grand Prix disaster, he had decided to accompany Phichit to the competition and stay there to watch him; of course, after much begging from the Thai boy. Yuuri didn’t have any wish to see any of the skaters who had seen him fail so greatly in the Grand Prix, but there he wanted to support his friend. He would be leaving for Hastesu, his home, after the Worlds finished, and take some time to readjust his mess of a life and decide what he wanted to do from then on.

“Yuuri, how are you feeling?” Phichit asked, taking off his sleeping mask after noticing that his friend had been gone again. Yuuri just sighed and rested his head on the headrest. His forehead was sweaty and his hair was sticking to it. He felt gross and he wanted nothing more but to take a shower but he still had to wait until they arrived to the hotel. He was drained from the sickness and the journey, thirteen hours in a plane were not easy, as they were certainly not seating in first class.

“I’m okay, I just need to rest.” Said Yuuri, giving his Thai friend a small smile. Phichit tried to reach his forehead to take his temperature but Yuuri swatted his hand away. “No, you could get sick and you have to be ready and fit for the competition. It is bad enough that you have to sit beside me.”

“Aw come on! I wanted to accompany you to the toilet to hold your hair and you didn’t let me, at least let me see if you have a fever!”

“If you haven’t noticed, Phichit, I have short hair, so there is no need to hold it. Also, no, I don’t, I don’t feel cold. I am just tired.”

Phichit huffed and glared at his friend. Yuuri just smiled at him and tried to summon his sleep, but even though his body and mind were exhausted, sleep wouldn’t come to him. He just tried to quell his need to vomit so he could at least rest his knees, that were sore from kneeling in front of the toilet.

Celestino hadn’t even noticed any of it. He was knocked out by some pills he took before getting into the plane, and he had only woken up during the meals before promptly going back to sleep. Yuuri wished he could swallow those pills but they would probably be out of him before they could even be of use. He managed to not throw up again before the plane landed, but of course, while waiting for their luggage, he had to make a quick trip to the restrooms.

It was very late when they arrived at the hotel and Yuuri was ready to fall into bed after taking a quick shower to get all the sick feeling off him. He felt refreshed though, finally seeing a city he knew and a language he was very familiar with after so much time of being away. He certainly couldn’t wait until he was home and could sleep in his old bed.

Phichit decided they would room together and Celestino couldn’t be more happy to get a room of his own after so many years of rooming with his students. Yuuri took his shower first and Phichit followed after him, leaving the Japanese boy alone in the room for ten minutes, in which the sound of the shower lulled him to sleep. That is, until Phichit barged into the room again with only his boxers on, hair dripping wet and his mobile in his hand.

“Oh, Yuuri, Yuuri!” He screeched, jumping onto his friend’s bed. The Japanese man moaned, turning around to his Phichit gesturing at his phone screen. “Look at that!” And Yuuri would have looked at it if Phichit wasn’t moving his phone up and down along with his jumps. Yuuri finally caught a hold of it and read the screen, what proved to be a challenge without his glasses on.

@v-nikiforov: Just arrived at the hotel! Tokyo is AMAZING! I can’t wait to go sightseeing. Good Night everyone! (･ω<)

“He arrived just after us! Imagine we encountered him in the hotel lobby, it would have been amazing.”

Yuuri’s hand was trembling and he hadn’t even noticed it. In fact, his whole body was trembling. He didn’t want to see Victor, not after that night. Not after what had happened. The Russian had made it very clear, it had been a one night stand. After all, when Yuuri had woken up, Victor wasn’t there. His memories were hazy because of the alcohol, but he was sure it hadn’t been a dream; his butt hurt enough to prove it. But Victor hadn’t left a note or a message, he had just… Left. So Yuuri didn’t want to see him, he didn’t want to embarrass himself. After all, Victor had been drunk too, maybe he didn’t even remember it. After all, he had not recognised him at the Arena, what made him think that he would remember him…

But Yuuri hadn’t told anything of what had happened to Phichit. It was his shameful secret, nobody could know how bad he had messed up with his idol. So, he controlled his shallow breathing and his trembling, putting his best fake smile.

“Yeah, imagine.” He returned the phone to Phichit, who tumbled to his own bed, scrolling down his social media feeds, probably announcing to the world that he too had arrived at Tokyo. Yuuri burrowed himself under the covers and closed his eyes. He felt bad for not telling his friend, after all, Phichit had always told him everything and Yuuri had always told him everything too. They were best friends, they kept nothing from each other. But he was too ashamed. He had lost his virginity to his idol who probably regretted it or didn’t even remember it.

“Hey, Yuuri, how are you feeling now?” Phichit asked, a sympathetic smile. “You know you don’t have to come if you don’t feel well, right?”

“Don’t worry, I feel much better.” Yuuri answered, a smile plastered in his face. He did feel better, but not much better. He just hoped to at least be able to see the free program if not the short. Phichit smiled brightly at him and wished him a good night before returning back to his phone, and Yuuri closed his eyes, hoping sleep would come fast to him.

A huge roaring sound woke him up, along with the flash of light that appeared outside their window. It was raining, a thunderstorm. Phichit was still snoring softly in his bed, his phone softy clutched in one hand, as if he had fallen asleep while on it. Yuuri felt the beginnings of the nauseous feelings that had accompanied him the whole trip beginning to pool on his stomach. Slowly, to not make them worse, he got up from his bed and shuffled towards Phichit. With a fond smile, he took the phone from his grasp and put it down on the nightstand, connecting it to the charger; Phichit would go nuts if his phone was dead when he woke up. He shut the curtains that they had left open the evening before, so the lightning wouldn’t disturb they sleep and then, after checking the time (4 am, fantastic) he shuffled towards the bathroom.

He sat down besides the porcelain bowl, awaiting the dreaded feeling of nausea that would lead to him spilling his guts sooner or later. And soon it was there, and Yuuri did try to be as quiet as he could, but a few minutes after heaving for the first time he felt a soft hand caressing his back and another taking his bangs away from his sweaty forehead.

“No, go away.” He croaked. “You will get ill.”

“Aw come on, let me help. You helped me when I was so stupid and drunk so much that ended up throwing everything up in our bathroom. You were there to hold me, I want to be here for you too. Let me, please.” Phichit said softly, his hand drawing soothing circles on Yuuri’s back. “And from what I’ve counted, you’ve puked around 13 or 14 times today, Yuuri. That is no way normal, I mean, look at it, there is nothing left in you now, not even water. You have to go to the doctor tomorrow. I will accompany you.”

“No, I will go alone. You have practice Phichit, no way I’m letting you miss it.”

“Okay, okay. But you will go, I will make sure of it.”

Next day, however, Yuuri felt too tired to accompany Phichit to breakfast or practice. He also didn’t want to face Victor Nikiforov, and have to deal with the fact that he wouldn’t even recognise him, especially if he wasn’t wearing his skating clothes. On the afternoon, however, Phichit and Celestino managed to drag him out of bed and get him to a taxi before they had to go to practice again.

He felt vaguely nauseous in the waiting room, and he had done a round trip to locate the bathroom in case he needed it but sooner than expected he was called in. A young man waited for him inside, and they greeted each other with a polite bow. He sat down and the doctor began his normal questions:

“So, you have stomach pains?”

“Yes, since yesterday morning.”

“And have you eaten anything that could make you feel ill?”

“No, I had barely eaten that day.”

“And you have nausea?”

“Yes, a lot. I’ve thrown up a lot.” Yuuri blushed to his roots, still knowing it was stupid to get embarrassed for that.

“Could you lay down, please? Thank you. Have you been under a lot of stress?”

“I have…” Grunted Yuuri, when the doctor pushed up his shirt and started fondling his stomach and abs, pushing down and making him feel even more nauseous. “I’ve just… I’ve been training in Detroit for a few years, and I failed some competitions so I’ve been quite depressed. But now I’m returning home so… It doesn’t make sense, if it’s because of the stress, I should have been ill since long ago.”

“Well, sometimes our body takes its time to assimilate the stress. However, it sounds more like a stomach bug to me than anything else. How many times have you thrown up?”

“Ah… Since yesterday morning? Around twenty times I would say, and I swear I am not exaggerating. It started before I got in the plane and it lasted the whole journey and when we arrived I also woke up during the night.”

“Are you afraid of flying or have airsickness by any chance?”

“No, not at all, I’m used to flying.”

The doctor hummed and stopped touching his stomach, a frown settling on his brow. He scratched his chin and grabbed a few papers, writing quickly in some of them. Yuuri sat up gingerly, biting on his lower lip. He felt light-headed due to dehydration, and even though he felt nauseous he wanted to eat a huge bowl of katsudon.

“Have you eaten anything or drunk anything to help you?”

“No… Everything I have eaten I just thrown it up again and well, I’ve been drinking water and energetic drinks for the minerals.”

“That’s good. Still, you look dehydrated. I will give you some pills to mix with your water so you take more electrolytes and some to help you with nausea. Also, I want to take a blood sample and if you could please do this urine test? Tomorrow we will have the results, so you can come tomorrow, same time if it works for you. Don’t worry, it’s just to rule out any other possibilities, I’m just everything is just fine.” Yuuri nodded and shuffled towards the bathroom. When the doctor had taken his blood sample and he had peed in his cup, he called a taxi to the hotel, dreaming of being able to fall back into bed and sleep. Forever, if he could choose.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SO SO SO SORRY THIS IS A VERY SMALL CHAPTER AND TO TOP IT ALL IT'S LATE I AM SORRY. 
> 
> I was in Madrid with some friends the whole week, that's why I couldn't update. And, honestly, this chapter is basically a filler, even though he does discover that shit has gone down u know. Victor ain't here yet, but next chapter he will be, I promise. and I hope to update maybe tomorrow or monday, I don't know, but I'm currently on vacation so, yeah, i have time. 
> 
> Happy Easter everyone! Thank you so much to the people who took time to read this mess :D

“That means you won’t be able to be here for the short program… Dang it…” Groaned Phichit, burrowing his face into his pillow. Yuuri felt a pang of guilt in his stomach that only added to the nausea he was already feeling. “But it’s okay! It’s okay, as long as you are there for the free. If you feel okay, that’s it. Oh God, I would like to accompany you to the doctor!”

“I’m so sorry, Phichit, I am sure I can reschedule, I will call…”

“No! No! No way, what if it’s something important? There is not a day to loose! You look terrible Yuuri, you can’t be delaying this anymore. You are going to the doctor, you hear me? And when you go out, if you’ve got time, you can come and see me skate, okay?” 

“Yeah, okay.” 

Phichit grinned widely and threw himself at his friend’s bed, where Yuuri was lying, both hands rubbing soothing circles over his stomach as if he was trying to calm the nausea. The Thai boy hugged Yuuri as he laid his head on the older boy’s shoulder, sighing softly. 

“Are you nervous?” Asked Yuuri. He would be nervous. He would be so nervous that he would probably be throwing up or crawling up the walls. But Phichit just shook his head, grinning. Yuuri chuckled and let it go. He knew the other boy was nervous but Phichit didn’t want to worry him or talk about it, so he let it go. They ended up falling asleep like this, and Celestino was not happy when his skater woke up with cramps everywhere. Yuuri was left alone in his room until he had to go to the doctor after lunch. The short program had just started when he left the hotel and if he had any luck he would be able to see Phichit perform. 

When he arrived at the clinic he didn’t have to wait a minute, the doctor received him instantly. Yuuri sat down on the chair in front of his desk while he waited for the doctor to say something. Meanwhile, the doctor just continued reading the documents with a frown on his face, which made Yuuri’s heartbeat speed up. Something was clearly wrong with him. 

“So…” Yuuri murmured, but he was immediately interrupted.

“Congratulations, Mr. Katsuki!” Exclaimed the doctor, a big smile on his face. Yuuri frowned when he got handed out the papers. He examined them but… He couldn’t make sense of anything. Some analysis had proved to be apparently positive, but positive for what? 

“Sorry…?” 

“Ah, from your face I can see that you were certainly not searching for it… Well, you are pregnant, Mr. Katsuki. Congrats.” 

And then Yuuri’s world fell down. He had had a lot of panic attacks, and while they were many resemblances, this was different. He suddenly felt breathless, and not in the good way, and his head started to spin crazily. The doctor might have been talking, but he did not hear his words clearly. He couldn’t even see clearly, it was like someone had took his glasses off and everything was covered in a thick fog. He was pregnant, he was fucking pregnant. And he didn’t even know how this had happened. Well, he knew the basics and he knew how it worked but… He didn’t knew he was one of the few he could get pregnant. And… God… It was Victor’s. There was no way the baby wasn’t Victor’s. How was he going to forget about that man if the man’s son or daughter was inside him! 

When he opened his eyes again he noticed that he was not in his house. Not in Hasetsu, not in Detroit. Not even in his hotel room in Tokyo. Everything was white and sterile. And there was only a zooming noise outside the room, of people running from one place to the other and telephones ringing. He was in a hospital. He was lying on a made-up bed, an IV stuck to his arm that dripped slowly from a bag. It kinda hurt. His head did hurt too, like he had banged it hard against something. What had happened…

Oh God, he was pregnant. He was pregnant with Nikiforov’s child. His heartbeat sped up as fast as a lightning, and he started getting up from his bed. He felt nauseous; he just wanted to curl up under his own covers, in his own bed, and wake up from this nightmare. 

“Oh, Mr. Katsuki, please, don’t sit up, you must still be dizzy. You took quite the fall when you fainted.” Said a nurse, who had just rushed in to check on his vitals. “But don’t worry, everything is okay. The baby is okay. You fell hard on your head, though.” So that explained the dizziness. 

However, when the nurse mentioned the baby his hand flew to his midsection. He had a baby… He still had a baby. He found himself guiltily wishing that… the baby had taken the fall and it was gone…His eyes teared up at that. How could he think something so horrific as that? How could he be such a horrible person? The baby wasn’t at fault for what was happening, he himself was the one to blame. 

“Do you feel any pain, Mr. Katsuki?” The nurse put a calming hand on his shoulder and made him lay back down on the bed. “We contacted your emergency contact, and they informed us they’ll be here shortly.” 

“M-my emergency contact?” Yuuri’s head was too full of fog to remember who was that. God, he hoped it was not his parents, he could not deal with that now. Or God forbid, Minako. She would kill him if she found out he would be leaving his career and to top it all he had gotten himself knocked up. 

“Yes, Mr. Cialdini? You know him?”

“Ah! Yes, yes!” He thanked God for being merciful as he relaxed against his bed covers. He could deal with Celestino, after all, the man was already disappointed in him for leaving, he could deal with a bit more disappointment. He turned his head to the side, where he found his belonging. His watch was lying sideways, the hour staring at him. The Short Program had just ended, so Celestino must had been on his way, if Phichit hadn’t won any medal. 

Soon enough, Celestino was bursting through the door with Phichit in cue, the both of them with worry written in their faces. Yuuri tried to smile comfortingly to them but it probably came out as a grimace. Phichit threw himself over the Japanese boy, crying god knows why about him dying while Celestino asked hundreds of questions. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m fine. I just… The news were quite shocking, that is all. I am not dying, Phichit, don’t worry. It’s not… Life-threatening per se. Could be but…”

“WHADAYA MEAN IT COULD BE?” Phichit yelled, tears gathering in his warm eyes. 

“Hey, no, no. I didn’t mean it like that… It’s… I don’t want to…”

“Come on, boy, 

“Yuuri, you’re killing me with worry!”

Yuuri breathed deeply, his hands shaking. He had to tell them, there was no way out. They would help him, whether he decided to keep the baby or not. He sat up a little, fighting the dizziness. 

“I-I am…. I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant.” And still, even though he had said it himself, it seemed surreal. How could he be pregnant? He had joked with Phichit that he would die a virgin. He had always assumed that at least his first time would be memorable, with someone he was in a relationship with, not a drunken stumble with his idol. And he wasn’t ready to have kids, he wasn’t ready at all. He couldn’t even take care of himself, for god’s sake, he was depressive and anxious, how could he take care of a little person? 

Phichit and Celestino were dumbfounded. Both their mouths hung open like gaping fish, and their eyes reflected their surprise. If anyone else, they would treat it like a joke, but this was Yuuri. Yuuri didn’t joke about important matters, Yuuri didn’t faint over anything. He was in the hospital, so he was telling the truth. 

Celestino was the first to move, sitting down at the nearest surface he found, putting his head between his hands while sighing. Phichit stared at his coach and then, with a set face, embraced Yuuri with all his strength. Only then, Yuuri allowed himself to break down. Safe in his best friend’s arms, he let the tears fall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, leave kudos and comments to feed my muse!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised! I bring you the third chapter, only two days after the second one. More revelations, for Phichit, not us, because we already knew duh. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you really like it, and thank you to all those who read and leave kudos and comments!!

Yuuri decided he would attend the Free Skate, he wanted to cheer for his friend. Phichit knew he did not have a shot at the podium: Victor was leading, followed by Chris and then a close tie between Jean-Jacques Leroy and Otabek Altin. However, he had managed to get to the Free Skate, and he was really excited for it. And Yuuri tried, he really really tried to be excited for his friend, but his nausea was still there, even though it had lessened thanks to some medication that had been prescribed to him. 

 

“Yuuri, you really don’t have to come.” Phichit whined, staring at his friend from the bathroom’s doorway. Yuuri was once again crouched in front of the toilet, waiting for the nausea to end. He had only been dry heaving so far, but he did not want to risk it. The Japanese boy shook his head and glared at Phichit from the corner of his eyes. 

 

“You know I am going to come. There is now way I am not supporting my friend on his first Worlds.” He said, resolute. Phichit beamed and kneeled beside Yuuri, sweeping the bangs off his forehead when he saw the vomit approach, judging by Yuuri’s face. 

 

Two hours after, Yuuri was taking a taxi to the ice rink. Phichit and Celestino had already left to prepare and warm-up before the competition but Yuuri had decided to stay behind until the last moment. He used his VIP pass to get to the backstage, where Phichit was still nervously warming-up. The competition had already begun, but Phichit had still a good half-an-hour to get ready. He already had his hair licked back so it wouldn’t bother him during his skating, and he was wearing his training jacket. 

 

When Phichit saw Yuuri approaching, he immediately left his warm-up routine and jumped into his friend’s arms. Yuuri smiled at him and pinched his cheek. 

 

“Are you ready?” 

 

“As ready as I can be! I can’t wait to be out there and give my everything.” Phichit beamed. “But, how are you? How are you feeling? You know, physically and emotionally?” 

 

“Physically, still a little bit dizzy but I’m okay, I took a couple of pills and now I am ready to see you skate. Emotionally? Well, you know me, I could always be better. It’s… It’s so recent, I’ve only had two days to process everything… To…To decided…” 

 

“You know that, whatever you decided I’ll be here for you, right? And if you ever want to talk about… You know… I’ll be here too.” Yuuri did know what Phichit was talking about. Phichit had asked him who was the other father, because, as far as he knew, his friend was a virgin. But Yuuri had not told him, not yet. He was not ready to disappoint Phichit, he had done bad enough, putting a strain on him during the Worlds. He would tell him, eventually, whether he decided to keep the baby or not, who was the other father; but it would have to wait. 

 

Sooner than they realised, Yuuri went to the stands, putting his face mask on to mingle with the other people without being recognised. He could seat between the skaters that weren’t competing, he had a reserved seat, but he had no desire to face any known face, he would rather stay standing. He was wearing normal clothes, nothing that would be too flashy and he mingled well between the other Japanese fans. 

 

He did long for the ice; the unfamiliar pang of wanting to be there and not being able to was present while he was watching Phichit warm up. It was not his choice anymore, to stand off the ice. If he decided to keep the baby, he wouldn’t be able to skate in at least a year, to have the baby and then to let his body recover; that’s what the doctor had told him. And if he decided to abort… Well, he wouldn’t be able to skate in a few months anyways, the abortion would take a heavy toll on his body. 

 

Phichit was in the second to last group along with five other skaters and he was the last to skate in that group. Yuuri was sure Phichit would have been able to make it to the last group where the top skaters were, if he had a better program; he had the skill for it, and the drive certainly. When he stood on the ice and skated to the middle, waving to the cheering crowd, his smile was bright was a thousand suns. 

 

For a moment, Yuuri forgot he had problems, he forgot he had a baby inside him that demanded him to take choices. He only felt pride for his best friend, who had fought with his nails and teeth his way towards the top, and he was finally there; the first Thai skater to ever arrive at the Worlds and to top it all, he was between the best ones.Yuuri would swore later that the hormones were making him emotional, but at that moment, he did not even notice his tears of joy as he clapped loudly. 

 

Phichit only stumbled on his triple axel and over-rotated his triple salchow, the rest of the program had been clean. Yuuri could see the pride etched on his face as he waved and bowed happily to the crowd. Yuuri lowered his face mask and screamed for his best friend along with the fans when he finished and also when his score was announced. It was not amazing, but it was a personal best and all that mattered was that Phichit was happy. 

 

When the break between the groups came to smoother the ice, Yuuri went down to where the skaters were to find Phichit. Phichit found him first though, and clung to his back like a monkey. Yuuri just laughed out loud and turned around to return the hug. 

 

“You did amazing.” 

 

“Did I? Celestino scolded me for over-rotating but I couldn’t help it. You know the salchows, they are my weakness.” Phichit moaned. 

 

“Don’t worry, it was amazing. Forget about the salchows, you got a new seasons best!” 

 

“I know!!!! I am so excited!” 

 

“Boys, the new group is starting. Want to come and see it?” Celestino said, nearing the two boys.

 

Yuuri felt his limbs froze. Victor Nikiforov was in the last group. He had no good excuse to avoid it, Phichit thought he loved Victor’s skating, there was no way that Phichit’s Yuuri would skip on watching Victor skate. However, Yuuri thought, Victor skated last. He had a good twenty minutes to make up a good excuse that would not sound fake. 

 

They went up to the stands, with the other skaters. The ice had just been cleaned and the commentator was calling the skaters to the ice. _Michele Crispino, Emil Nekola, Otabek Altin, Jean-Jacques Leroy, Chris Giacometti…_ And there he was, Victor Nikiforov. Yuuri’s breath hitched. He had been avoiding like the plague the skating magazines and the sport TV channels, so it was the first time in three months that he was seeing that face. 

 

“OOOOOOh, look at him, Yuuri!!!! It’s the first time I am actually seeing him as a competitor!!!” Phichit screeched, taking Yuuri’s hand and shaking it. But Yuuri couldn’t feel it. He couldn’t feel anything but the happiness and also despair that filled him at seeing Victor. He wanted to stop feeling it, but he couldn’t shake the same emotion that had filled him when being between his arms. He wanted to regret it. _We were both drunk, it was a mistake. Look what has come out of it._ But it was not, it was not a mistake. He did not regret it, deep down, he did not .

 

Maybe it was his fate. A baby had come out of his and Victor’s first and only night together; maybe he ought to have it. A music was on but he couldn’t hear it clearly, too lost in his thoughts. And the music just kept changing; people clapping, cheering, Phichit talking and Celestino scolding. But he just smiled, he did not notice a single skater. The baby was the only thing in his mind. The baby and Victor, Victor and the baby. He felt dizzy with pressure. He knew he couldn’t take too long to make the decision of abortion, because if he decided that he did not want it, the older the baby was, the harder the procedures were going to be for him. He had to take a fast decision; too fast for the weight it would held in his life. 

 

In two days he had barely assimilated that a life was growing inside him. Phichit, when not in his trainings, was with him all the time. They had only gone out of the room once, to go to a Starbucks. Yuuri did not feel like going out at all, he did not feel like anything at all. He just wanted to crawl under the covers and wish for everything to end as quickly as it had started. But thankfully, Phichit was there, and he had kept him distracted. He knew that Yuuri wouldn’t be comfortable talking about the baby, so he had not pressured at all, talking about everything but that. 

 

But then, seeing Victor for the first time after that night, he realised that it was real. No matter how much he wanted to avoid it, the baby was real and the father of the baby was real too. And if he decided to keep it… Victor would have to know. He could not take away his right of knowing his child or partaking in their raising. No matter how much it could hurt Yuuri. God, he was getting even dizzier. 

 

And then, a familiar orchestral music began. Victor was in the middle of the ice, attracting all the attention. With every move he captured everyone’s hearts, and without a doubt, everyone knew who was the winner when he executed his quad flip. And Yuuri remembered everything; he had been drunk, but even if he had been sober, he would not have said no to Victor. Never. Because, even thought they had only talked that night, he was in love with that skater, and that night he had fallen in love with the man. He had not been rough, not as he expected. He had cradled him in his arms, as if he knew that was Yuuri’s first time, and Yuuri felt as if they had made love, not just had mindless sex. 

 

And it was too much. If the nausea had been on the pit of his stomach, then it was raising quickly to his mouth. Yuuri stood up before Victor finished his program, and with tears streaming down his face, he ran towards the nearest bathroom. Thankfully, due to the ongoing competition, it was open, so he did not bother closing the stall. He just threw himself on his knees and retched into the toilet. 

 

Just a few seconds after, another pair of feet entered the bathroom, and Phichit rushed to Yuuri’s side. When there was nothing left inside Yuuri’s stomach, he slumped against the toilet, tears streaming down his face as sobs wracked his body, while Phichit kept rubbing calming circles on his back. 

 

“It’s him….” Yuuri sobbed. Phichit stared at him confused. 

 

“Yuuri.. What?” 

 

“The baby’s father… It’s him… It’s…. It’s Victor.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, please leave kudos and comments! ;)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! Longish chapter, which I am not happy about at all because I just feel my style keeps degenerating??? I don't know. I know what I want to write but the words just don't come out right but I want to update for you guys so here it is, later than expected because I've started Uni yet again and my dog is quite ill so yeah, havoc. 
> 
> Thank you to all those who left commentaries and kudos! I am sorry for all the puking but Yuuri ain't going to have an easy going pregnancy, you should have expected that, I love making my characters suffer!!
> 
> By the way! If you want to follow me on Tumblr I'm @221b-gay-street ! Let me know you are reading my fic!

Phichit had just taken a shower and was waiting for Yuuri to finish his when he received a message on his mobile phone from Christopher Giacometti, inviting him to a dinner with other skaters. He declined, saying he wasn’t feeling too well and put the phone aside just as Yuuri exited the bathroom, already in his pyjamas, his hair still wet. Even though the tear tracks were not visible anymore, Yuuri’s eyes were still an angry red colour and judging and they stung. He just wanted to go to sleep, but Phichit had stayed in the hotel for him, and he deserved an explanation after the bomb that he had dropped on him in the stadium. 

 

Yuuri sat down on his bed, staring at Phichit who was seating on his. His Thai friend didn’t say anything, just sat up and climbed on his bed, hugging him tightly. Yuuri melted into the embrace, sighing deeply. 

 

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to.” Phichit murmured. 

 

“No. You deserve it. And you almost know everything now. It’s just… Well, it happened during the Grand Prix Final. You know how I was, destroyed by Vicchan’s death and by my complete failure. No, no, let me finish. Well, Celestino made me go to the banquet despite me not wanting to, for obvious reasons. I didn’t want to show my face where I would be recognised as the worst skater. Anyways, I couldn’t talk to anyone so I just stuck to the champagne. And at some point… I got too drunk. I barely remember anything that happened at the banquet. I just… I remember dancing with other people and then… Victor offered to accompany me to my room. He was very drunk too, though not as much as me. But when we arrived at my room I just… I kind of sobered up, not entirely, but I was aware of where I was and with who I was. And I invited him inside. He seemed hesitant but I just… I grabbed him and kissed him, right there on the hallway. Victor didn’t refuse me so I took it as a good sign and opened the door. Well… The rest… You know, we did have sex.” Yuuri blushed profusely, even though tears were threatening to spill from his eyes. “I don’t remember everything, but I do remember the most part of it. We obviously didn’t have condoms because I don’t have any of those things so we just… Did it.” 

 

Phichit stood still for a minute, and then his brows furrowed and he grunted, like an angry dog. 

 

“That stupid Russian! He took advantage of you!!! You were drunk!”

 

“No! NO! Phichit, it was my fault, don’t you see? He was drunk too, I was the one who initiated it. I was the one who invited him to my room. Gosh I… I was the one who said that I wanted to… To do it even though we didn’t have any condoms. I didn’t think of the consequences.” 

 

“But what about next morning?” 

 

“When I woke up, he was gone. He hadn’t left a note or anything, so… So I figured that for him it was a one night stand, like one among many.” The tears finally spilled from Yuuri’s eyes, and a sob tore through him. He hid his face in his hands but Phichit put him against his chest and caressed his back softly. 

 

“That bastard… I am not going to let anyone take advantage of my friend, not even Victor Nikiforov.” 

 

“Phichit…”

 

“No! There is no way he is getting away unscathed! And… Well, from your reaction earlier, I gather that you still haven’t talked to him?” 

 

“No. I can’t do it. Or at least, not yet.” 

 

“I get it. But, you will have to, one day.” 

 

“I know, I know. I just want to… It was already difficult just knowing that we had slept together, and he probably doesn’t remember it or I’m just one more; now it’s, it’s ten times more difficult. No, scratch that, it’s nearly impossible. Just the thought of approaching him makes me want to throw up and smile at the same time…” 

 

Phichit ended up hugging him the rest of the night and they fell asleep together in the same bed. The next morning, they didn’t rush to breakfast and they packed their things quietly, Phichit squeezing Yuuri’s hands every time he walked past him to get something. Phichit was not attending the Gala, he did not skate in it in the first place, and he did not want to miss their last hours together for God knows how long. 

 

They enjoyed their last afternoon together in Tokyo and then Phichit had to leave for the banquet. Celestino had forbidden him to not go, arguing that he would be seen as a sore loser if Phichit decided not to appear and give his congratulations to the winners. 

 

“But how can I congratulate him nooooow Yuuri? All I will be thinking is that I will be congratulating him for becoming a father!” 

 

However, Yuuri rushed Phichit to the banquet and he kept himself in the room. However, he soon grew bored and decided to walk around the hotel a bit, maybe tell Phichit to meet him outside the banquet for a few minutes to see how everything was going. He went to the hotel’s garden, where it was too cold for anyone to be out there, and sure enough, he was alone. He sent a message to Phichit to meet him there, but his friend didn’t seem to be checking his phone. He grew tired and his sickness started acting up again so he sat down at the stairs leading inside the hotel to wait for his friend. It was too much of a risk to wait inside, any skater could be hanging around. 

 

“Yuuri?” 

 

The Japanese boy stood still as a statue when the too familiar voice reached him. What was he doing out there? Why did Yuuri have so much bad luck that out of all the skaters that he could have encountered, it had to be him? 

 

“Yuuri?” Victor repeated again, approaching him with a hesitant smile. Yuuri heard the footsteps slowly approaching him, and to him it was like the day of doom was nearing; the day of doom smelt very well and had a soft voice that melted Yuuri’s heart but also made him want to throw up with anxiety. He remembered that exact voice saying his name again and again against his neck, panting it against his lips. “Hey, long time no see… I see you didn’t compete.” Victor seated himself beside Yuuri, who was yet still as a pole, his face white as a sheet. Victor took notice of it, and the slight trembling of the Japanese. 

 

“Yuuri, are you feeling okay? Maybe we should head inside, it is cold out here.” Victor put a hand on Yuuri’s arm but the Japanese yanked it away and crawled away from the Russian, his breathing laboured and his eyes shining with tears. It was too much, he wasn’t ready. 

 

Apparently, Victor did remember him, so he probably remembered that night and Yuuri wasn’t ready to face the fact that it had only been a one night stand, that he had been left in shame the morning after. 

 

“Don’t touch me.” Murmured Yuuri. He had to tell him, a part of Yuuri’s brain reasoned, Victor had the right to know he was pregnant with his child. But… But Yuuri wasn’t sure he was going to keep it yet. It would be all for nothing if he told him and he ended up aborting. “I have to go, I-I… Phichit is…” 

 

“Please, Yuuri. Are you angry? I-I’m sorry for what happened. I should have known better. I knew when you didn’t call me that you would be angry… I was… I was drunk, I am so sorry I took advantage.” 

 

So he was drunk, he didn’t want to do it. Yuuri was just a mistake produced by the alcohol. But… Wait, what?

 

“Call you?” Yuuri croaked, looking at Victor for the first time. And he was gorgeous. His three-piece suit hugged his body perfectly and his hair was neatly coiffed, smooth and shiny. He did sport dark shadows under his eyes, but they were probably because of the nerves of the competition, if he suffered from that, that is. 

 

“Yeah. I had to leave so I left you my number written down on the beside table.” Victor said, his tone denoting his confusion. Yuuri stared at him dumbfounded; he had not found any note by his beside table, there had been nothing. “Did you not see it?” 

 

“There was no note.” Yuuri argued. “You-you… You just left, why are you lying? There was no note!” By then, the tears were spilling from Yuuri’s eyes. His stomach still felt bad and his head was starting to hurt, trying hard to remember if there was a note on his bedside table. He was hungover that morning, there was a small chance there had been a note and in his self-pity party he had not seen it. 

 

“I promise you! I did leave a note, why would I lie?! I would never lie to you! I know I did not do the right thing, we were both drunk, we should have stopped; especially me because I was more sober but… But I should be angry too! You were the one who did not call me, even though I did apologise, quite a lot if you ask me. I thought that we…” Victor left the sentence unfinished and turned his back to Yuuri, his hand over his mouth like he was trying to stop his words. Yuuri stared at Victor’s back, his heart beating in his ears like a drum, fast and loud, and his hands trembling like leaves on the wind. 

 

“You… You left me a note? I did not… I did not see it.” Yuuri whispered, mostly to himself. It had been his fault all along. Victor had not been the bad guy who had meaningless one night stands; he had wanted to keep in touch and Yuuri had just gone and… thrown it all to the garbage. “I’m so sorry.” And then, Yuuri flew up the stairs and into the hotel, searching for the nearest bathrooms to hide himself in. He fought the nausea back, trying to calm himself and not lapse into a panic attack. But Victor had followed him to the bathroom and approached him slowly. 

 

“It’s okay.” Victor said. “It’s not your fault, maybe it fell under the bed or behind the bedside table. It doesn’t matter, Yuuri, don’t worry.” 

 

Yuuri let Victor take his hands from his face, and held them softly between his warm ones. Yuuri tried to calm down, but the nausea was still there and he knew that any moment he would throw up: the baby, the anxiety and Victor were all too much. He threw himself on his knees and retched into the toilet not a minute after, and Victor kneeled beside him and rubbed his back soothingly. 

 

_I could have had this all along. But I lost the fucking note._

 

“I’m sorry.” Yuuri apologised again when he found his breath and his stomach had stopped revealing against him. The bathroom smelt like vomit and sweat, and Victor had used his own sleeves to clean him up, ruining his perfect suit. 

 

“You don’t have to apologise. You have nothing to apologise for. I should be the one apologising. I should have called you, after all I was the one who accepted. But I thought that at least we should see each other at the World but then I saw that you weren’t competing and, honestly, I panicked. How was I supposed to coach you, if I couldn’t get in touch with you!” 

 

Victor rambled as he helped Yuuri up and helped him drink some water from the tap to rinse his mouth; but the Japanese boy spat it all out on the front of Victor’s suit, which was definitely ruined then, when he heard those words. 

 

“Wait, what????!! Coach me???!!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos and comments, thank you for reading!
> 
> By the way! If you want to follow me on Tumblr I'm @221b-gay-street ! Let me know you are reading my fic!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry I took so long, I had it done but then I didn't like it so I deleted it and aaaagh, I hate this writer's block. I have noooo idea where I am going with this fic but I want to end it so, stick with me guys, I know the latest chapters are horrible. 
> 
> Anyways, there is a whole lot of yelling in this chapter, done by Phichit mainly, and Yuuri also. There is suit talking, and men I did a lot of research on that, so, you're welcome hahaha I might have busted up the prices a bit... maybe? I dunno

Yuuri felt breathless. Coach him, Victor wanted to coach him, a nobody in the skating world. And he couldn’t even fathom why. He leaned against the sink and splashed water on his face, a face that was pale as snow and stared back at him in the mirror, with an awestruck expression. Victor was behind him, looking at him confusedly, holding a bunch on tissues on his hands, the ones he had been trying to wipe his suit with. Yuuri grabbed some tissues and made the move to help him but he was scared to touch the Russian. Victor just smiled and shook his head. 

 

“It’s okay.” He said. “So, I gather that you don’t remember… anything?” Yuuri shook his head, shame sagging his shoulders. “Don’t worry! I should have known, you were pretty drunk during the banquet so, it’s no wonder you don’t remember. Not your fault. Still…” 

 

“I am so sorry! I-I should not have drunk so much, but… But things had happened and…” 

 

“Things? What happened?” Asked Victor, and made to grab Yuuri’s hand but the door banging open and Phichit barging in interrupted him. 

 

“YUURI! I FINALLY FIND YOU!” The Thai boy screamed, hugging his friend tightly, only to then turn and glare at Victor. “And you…” Phichit said, dangerously, but Yuuri quickly grabbed his friend and pushed him away from Victor. 

 

“Phichit, it’s okay, it’s okay. Maybe… Maybe we should go, I’m tired.” Yuuri murmured, his eyes pleading to his friend. Phichit sighed and nodded, grabbing Yuuri’s hand and directing him towards the door, not directing a second glance at Victor. But Yuuri did, the Japanese looked back to see Victor stare at him, the expression in his face indecipherable. He looked like a kicked puppy, with his dirty suit and still holding a bunch of tissues. But Yuuri looked away, shame hanging like a cloud over his head, and followed Phichit to their room. 

 

“I got your text, like, half an hour ago, and I was looking for you everywhere! No one had seen you, and then I heard your voice and Nikiforov’s voice so, I knew I had to save you.” 

 

“Thank you, Phichit. But really, it’s okay. We were only talking.” 

 

“Did you…?” 

 

“No! No… There’s no way I could have… No. He just, God… God Phichit it was my fault! He did try to contact me after we… Why am I so stupid! He left me his phone number and I lost the damned paper somewhere in the room, probably to sad or blind to even see it.” 

 

The door of the elevator opened and Yuuri exited but he noted that Phichit was not following him. He turned around only to see his friend looking at him, gaping like a fish, still inside the elevator. Yuuri tugged him by the sleeve and then Phichit seemed to snap, and started babbling. 

 

“HE LEFT YOU A NOTE? OMG YUURI, DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THAT MEANS?” 

 

“No, Phichit, enlighten me.” 

 

“He likes you Yuuri!” Phichit shrieked, once they were inside the bedroom. Yuuri turned to look at him with an incredulous gaze. 

 

“No! Phichit you got it all wrong. He wanted to contact me because he wants to be my coach! Which, I still don’t understand, but apparently I begged him to, at the banquet, and he accepted.” 

 

“Of course he accepted, he likes you.” Phichit said again, raising his eyebrows at his friend. Yuuri groaned and shook his head. There was no way Victor liked him, how could he? It was clear, Victor had said so, he was drunk when they had sex and he was also wrong when he said yes to being his coach. But he still wanted to keep his word, that was it. Victor wanted to play a bit, he had said during the whole season that he was bored, that he wanted to change; Yuuri had just presented himself in a silver plater. 

 

“I know what you are doing right now, Yuuri. You’re searching for aaaaaaall the possible reasons Victor does not really want to be your coach. Well, hear me out. There are none, because he actually wants!” 

 

“Agh, how do you know that, Phichit? Have you asked him, by any chance? You know it’s not possible!” 

 

“Stop it, stop it, okay? Just… Ah, calm down. All this stress is not good for the baby.”

 

“You said it yourself, the baby. Whether he wants to coach me or not, I cannot be coached. I am pregnant.” 

 

They both fell into silence during a few minutes, in which Phichit just stared at Yuuri, searching for something, while the Japanese boy avoided the Thai’s eyes at all costs. 

 

“So… You’ll keep it?” Phichit asked tentatively, his voice soft. “The baby, you’ll keep it?”

 

Yuuri let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding when Phichit asked the question. He didn’t know, and told Phichit so. The rational part of his brain argued that it was the best idea, to get rid of it and continue his life as if nothing had happened. But it had happened, and the Yuuri part of the brain told him he would remember it and regret it all his life, if he didn’t have the baby. But, was it worth it? Ruining his whole career (or what was left of it), his youth, to have a baby he didn’t even know if he wanted, much less was prepared to have? And… And maybe ruin Victor’s life on the way? 

 

No. If he kept it, Victor would have to… He would have to stay out of it. There was no way Yuuri was going to ruin Victor’s whole life for his own mistake. Yuuri would have to let down Victor gently on being his coach; he was retiring for good. 

 

“Yuuri… Don’t overthink it. You… You still have time to decide it.”

 

“No, I don’t.” Yuuri murmured, his throat closed, trying to fight off his tears. “I have very little time to think about it, Phichit. If I want to get rid of it, I have to do it soon, or else, it would be more and more difficult and my body will suffer more. I will do it in Hasetsu, though, if I abort. That way… That way I will be in my home, with my family. I will just some illness or whatever.” 

 

“You’re not going to tell them?” Phichit asked, seating down beside Yuuri, who had laid down on his bed. 

 

“No, I don’t want to worry them for nothing. Of course, if I keep it, I will have to tell them but not if I don’t.” 

 

“If you keep it, will you tell anyone who’s the father?” 

 

None of them said nothing for a few minutes until Yuuri’s tears trailed down his cheeks and he shook his head. 

 

“No.” 

 

Phichit didn’t say anything; he just hugged his friend tightly, laying down beside him. It was the best way to comfort each other; Phichit had spent many nights comforting Yuuri when he was homesick or had a particular bad practice or competition. Yuuri hadn’t had to comfort Phichit as much, because he was a ray of sunshine, but sometimes the sun got clouded and the Japanese boy was there for him. They didn’t talk anymore until Yuuri calmed down and sat up enough to grab a pair of tissues. Phichit knew best than to talk of that subject anymore, he didn’t want to upset Yuuri further so he just babbled about other topics. 

 

“Oh my God, Yuuri, you should have seen the dress that Russian girl was wearing. Mila, I think it’s her name. It was soooo short, I swear. Her coach even yelled at her for ten minutes when she appeared on that dress. Not that the other male skaters were complaining anyways. Oh, and Chris was wearing this Armani suit, gosh! I just wanted to touch it, to smell it, because I am sure it smelt like money. I googled it and it costs more than what I will earn in my whole life. I swear, I don’t know from where he gets that money. I am sure he works at a strip club or something, or else, I don't get it!” 

 

Yuuri smiled at his friend as he ranted about the other skaters’ clothes. He decided to forget about the baby, about Victor during the night. He would have time to worry, but right now his mind was exhausted and Phichit proved to be a nice entertainment. 

 

“By the way, did you see the suit Victor was wearing?” Phichit said, excitedly. 

 

“The suit? Well, yeah, it was a nice suit, but I didn’t…” 

 

“A NICE SUIT? REALLY YUURI? A NICE SUIT? I’VE TAUGHT YOU BETTER THAN THAT!” Yelled Phichit, pulling his hair while he moaned. 

 

“Oh my God, Phichit okay, sorry, sorry, it was a fantastic suit.” 

 

“Well, that would be an understatement. It is a perfectly tailored Tom Ford suit, worth more than 6000 dollars! [[x]](http://221b-gay-street.tumblr.com/post/160385558939/this-is-the-suit-i-imagine-victor-wearing-in-my)” Screeched Phichit, fingerling about the suit and ranting about all the qualities of the cloth and how it hugged Victor’s body perfectly. Yuuri however, went blank and his face drained of colour. 

 

“6000 dollars…?” He whispered. 

 

“Yeah!” Exclaimed Phichit with a smile. However, his smile quickly faded when he saw his friend’s white face. “Oh my God, Yuuri, what’s wrong? You look like you are going to faint or throw up or I don’t know! Are you? Whats the matter?” 

 

“Oh Lord, Phichit, I spat on that suit, Phichit.” 

 

“What…?” 

 

“I spat water on his 6000 dollars perfectly tailored Tom Ford suit.” repeated Yuuri, his eyes blankly staring at the sheets on his bed. 

 

“Well, it is a crime but it’s only water I don’t think it matters that much.” 

 

“No, wait, there’s more. He… He cleaned my face with it. He cleaned the sweat and vomit off my face with it!” 

 

They stood silent for a moment, Phichit gaping at Yuuri like a goldfish while Yuuri stared at him, like he was begging Phichit for some help. 

 

“WHAT?” Screeched Phichit. “HE CLEANED YOUR VOMIT WITH THE PERFECTLY TAILORED TOM FORD SUIT? That man clearly loves you, Yuuri. He’s a keeper. I don't know if I would do that for anyone…” 

 

“No, Phichit you’re missing the point, I OWE VICTOR NIKIFOROV MORE THAN 6000 DOLLARS!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The link to Victor's suit is whithin the fic, if I managed it right :D It's my tumblr so, if you want to talk to me about this fic or aaaanything at all, I'd be very happy :D 
> 
> Thank your for reading, please leave kudos and comments :D


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so sorry to be so late with the chapter but I dunno, this weekend was kinda hectic and i wasn't home so I couldn't write :/ forgive me!!!! 
> 
> Anyways, this chapter is touchy-feely, cause, after the comic-relief of the last chapter we needed something a bit sad, cause I would certainly be kinda depressive if I was going through what Yuuri is, so. Finally, he is in Hasetsu so, Katsuki family <3
> 
> Victor will re-apper soon, don't worry ;)

Saying goodbye to Phichit had been hard; he had been even more emotional due to the pregnancy, so when they had embraced he had burst into tears, making Phichit burst into tears too. They had ended up crying until Celestino managed to pry them off each other. Yuuri went to the train station, where he took the train that would bring him home. He had not seen Victor, having been told that the Russian Team had left before them. It was better that way, Victor had to forget his promise to be his coach, because there was no way he would be training any time soon. 

He had managed to hold back his tears the whole journey in train, which had been an incredibly hard feat, but when he arrived at the Onsen and sunk into his mother’s embrace, he was a goner. He sobbed horribly against her shoulder while she murmured soft things in Japanese in his ear. God, he had missed his language, the lulling effect his mother’s words had on him. Her mother did ask what happened but Yurri had just shook his head so she didn’t push him more. Mari and his father arrived later, thankfully when Yuuri had already sobered up and managed to look not so horrible. 

“Already putting on weight I see!” Joked Mari, trying to grab his stomach. Yuuri pushed her away with a frown, what unsettled Mari, because, even though Yuuri was self-conscious of his weight, he knew his sister was only joking. “Are you okay?” Yuuri just nodded and told them he had to see someone yet. 

He kneeled in front of the small altar, burning up the incense and in no time, the room was full of the scent he related to home. The small photo on the altar was old and a bit faded; it seemed like a million of years ago, even though it was only a bit more than ten, since he had hold Vicchan in his arms, his smile as bright as the sun, his eyes sparkling with happiness. Yet, it seemed like yesterday when he had held Vicchan for the last time, the day he left for America. He had cried into his fur, promising him to be back in no time. But Vicchan had left them; he had left him before Yuuri could fulfil his promise. 

“Vicchan…” he whispered, his eyes filling with tears, even when he thought he had no more tears to shed. “I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry I wasn’t there. I’m sorry I didn’t come back before you… Before you left. I missed you so much while I was there, Vicchan. I still miss you so much. I would give everything to have you back here with me.” 

Tears were spilling freely down his cheeks, wetting his legs. He had failed so much people: his family, who had given up a lot for him to pursue his career in figure skating; Phichit, who had believed in him when he himself couldn’t; Vicchan, for not being there when the dog needed him while he had always been there for Yuuri; and Victor… For probably ruining his skating life. Because… Because he couldn’t fail another person. He couldn’t fail the baby he had inside. He was going to keep it. 

“I’m going to be a father, Vicchan.” He croaked out, when it dawned on him what that decision entitled. He muffled his sobs with his hand as he leaned forwards, his other hand wrapping around his stomach. “And I’m going to be there for the child, I’m not going to let him down like I did with you. I am so sorry… I will mend it. I will not disappoint any of you anymore. I swear it.” 

He sobbed silently for what felt like hours, until he heard the door slide open and feet padding towards him. A rough hand touched his back and he instantly leaned against his sister’s chest, who hugged him tightly without saying anything. 

He had always been able to trust his sister with everything; they didn’t share many hobbies together: she hated the ballet and wasn’t good at all on the ice, meanwhile he didn’t like her j-pop groups or shared enthusiasm for a quiet life in the onsen. Although, the quiet life seemed more appealing to him then more than ever. However, despite their differences, they had always told each other everything: it was his sister who had protected him from the bullies until he was too embarrassed for her too do it. And still, he appreciated that his sister threatened the bullies behind his back. 

“You know, you don’t have to tell me but, you can always trust me with anything, okay?” Said his sister softly. She smelled like tobacco and the onsen; she smelled like home. Yuuri pressed himself against her body more, searching for a warmth he had been missing all this time. His chin trembled when he tried to articulate words: he wanted to tell her. If anyone would understand, it would be her, and he needed someone to lean on at home. He wasn’t ready at all to tell his parents; their disappointment would weigh too much on him. 

“Hey, don’t force yourself.” Mari said gently, rubbing up and down Yuuri’s arms. 

“I failed all of you. You, mum and dad, Vicchan…” he croaked, his voice trembling and breaking. 

“Hey, no, that’s not true, little bro…” 

“Yes, yes it is. I… I wasn’t there when Vicchan passed away. I failed him. And you’ve all given up so much for me to continue skating, to go to America and yet… And yet here I am, a failure. I didn’t manage anything.” 

“Yuuri, if we had the chance of supporting you again to pursue your dreams despite knowing they wouldn’t work out, we would do it all again, okay? And it’s still not over, if you don’t want it too. You’re still young, and you’re Japan’s best figure skater. No, no, don’t give me that bullshit. Ask the JSF, they damn know you’re the best, that’s what their webpage says!” Mari glared at him and then chuckled. “You don’t owe anything to anyone; you have to do what makes you happy, and if skating doesn’t make you happy anymore, well, then quit it, it’s not worth it, okay? I don’t want to see you unhappy. The last competition was just bad luck, Yuuri. You skated phenomenally in the short but Vicchan’s news destroyed you. It’s normal, it happens to the best of us. You have nothing to be ashamed of. But if you want to take a year off, I will fully support you, okay? Of course, you’ll have to pull your weigh in the inn.” 

“Thank you so much, Mari… It… It means… It means a lot to me. I-I needed to come home, I needed to be here. I missed you all so much.” 

“We missed you too, Yu-chan.”

“How’s the inn going…?” 

“Eh, you know how this is, sometimes you got a lot of people and sometimes you got no one. But, I guess it’s good we are the only ones left because that means all the customers go to us! Still, ya know, we are not swimming on money, obviously.”

“I’m sorry…”

“Sorry for what?” 

“Well, it was very expensive with me being in America and all.” 

“Nah, Yuuri, don’t go blaming yourself. It’s just that nobody wants to come here anymore. No guess, this ass town is getting more and more empty as years pass. Maybe you being here will bring people!” 

Yuuri just smiled at her. She ruffled his hair and made to get up from the ground but Yuuri held her hand before she had the chance. Mari stared at Yuuri with a raised eyebrow and took notice of the serious and scared look that he had on his face. She sat down again, face to face with Yuuri. 

“I-I have something to tell you. But, please, don’t tell mom and dad, or anyone for that matter. I will tell them, but I’m still not ready for it.” 

“Wow, Yu-chan, you’re scaring me here.” Joked Mari, putting a cigarette in his mouth but Yuuri stopped her before she could light it. 

“No please, don’t smoke. Not with me around.” 

“Oh God… Do you have any illness?” 

“No, no! It’s just… Gosh, this is really difficult. I am sorry, I made a big mistake during the GPF, a vert very big mistake, that’s why I can’t go back to skating anyways, not even if I wanted to.” 

“My God, Yu-chan, you sound like a teenage girl who has been knocked up.” Chuckled Mari, but when she saw the scared look on Yuuri’s face and how his eyes stared like a deer caught in headlights at her. “Oh no…” She mumbled. “You… This can’t be… Yuuri, did you?… Are you pregnant?” 

Yuuri didn’t have to say anything, because the sob that escaped his mouth said everything for him. His sister was dumbstruck, blinking at his brother. When he had left for America his little Yuuri had been but a teenager, scared of leaving his house but ready to pursue his dreams. She knew that he would probably not come back as his innocent little brother but a man, maybe with a girlfriend or a boyfriend that would not know how to speak Japanese and would a handsome American. But she did not expect at all that he would come back pregnant and with what seemed no stable relationship. Nevertheless, she hugged him, trying to calm herself down to not alter Yuuri any more. 

“It’s okay, Yuuri. It’s okay. Don’t worry.” 

“I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry. I didn’t know… I wasn’t… I didn’t want to…” he blubbered, trying to find words to express his regret. However, she just shook her head. 

“It’s okay, Yuuri. You have nothing to apologise for, we’re all human, we make mistakes.” 

“But Mari, this mistake is gonna cost me all my career.” 

“Hey, that’s not true. You know, a lot of skaters have taken a year off to have a child and then gone back to skating. You should know that more than me. But… The question is, are you keeping it…?” She asked carefully. 

“Ah… Yes, I didn’t know if I wanted to, but, it doesn’t seem fair to not keep it. I… It would not feel right to me.” 

“So… Who’s the other father?” Mari knew it was quiet insensible to ask that right away but she was dying to know who had knocked his baby brother up to hill him. However, Yuuri just lowered his head, his fingers tight against his pants. “It’s okay, it’s okay. You don’t have to tell me, but, know that I’m here for you okay? So, when you have to go to the doctor or whatever, I’m here, yeah?” 

Yuuri hugged her, thanking her over and over again. Mari just smiled softly: he might have grown up and his problems were certainly more adult, but he still was his baby brother, he needed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, please, leave a comment and kudos! 
> 
> You can find me in tumblr at @221b-gay-street


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I am a liar because I told ya I would update once a week. But university is a bitch, what can I say? T^T 
> 
> I am sorry for the short short chapter, but I honestly had no idea what to put because I wanna live the good stuff for the next chapter. 
> 
> Thank you for all your kudos and comments, you are the best!!

Yuuri’s trembling legs barely carried him to his bed, where he collapsed. Cold sweat was all over his body and he felt terribly ill still: the nausea continued to accompany him, and Mari, after a few days of seeing his brother throw up violently throughout the day, decided to force him to go to the doctor. Yuuri’s parents were already getting suspicious and the boy was also fed up with the bland food his mother was preparing for him so his stomach wouldn’t get upset. He was hungry all the time so he resorted to junk food he found throughout the house, which didn’t help his nausea at all. 

 

“Okay, up now, we’re leaving.” Mari said, entering Yuuri’s room and ushering him on his unstable feet. 

 

“What? You told me the appointment was in the afternoon.” 

 

“It was but I changed it. This much of throwing up can’t be good for you or the baby so, we’re leaving. Up, up!”They lied saying they were going out for a coffee, quickly leaving before their mother could protest about them shirking their duties. 

 

Yuuri couldn’t stay still, he paced up and down the waiting room, driving Mari out of his mind. Twice he had left in a rush for the bathroom but nothing had come out; he had not eaten yet and he had emptied his stomach early that morning. Finally, though, the doctor came to get them. A kind faced middle-aged woman that smiled warmly at them. 

 

“Okay! Your sister here told me you are almost four months pregnant? And that you’ve had quiet the morning sickness!”

 

“More like whole-day sickness.” Mari muttered. Yuuri nodded dutifully, looking at his lap. 

 

“Okay, first we’ll run a quick blood analysis to make sure everything is okay and we’ll watch how the baby is doing!” 

 

While waiting for the blood analysis results, the doctor made Yuuri lay down on a stretcher, raised his shirt and poured a cold and sticky substance over his stomach. His heart was beating wildly against his ribcage as he stared at the monitor where his baby supposedly showing. The doctor pointed things out to them, Mari looking interested at the screen. However, to Yuuri, it still did not feel real. He was starting to show, a small bump that also used to grow in his off-season, when he turned chubby, but the skin around it was taut and soft but the weird shapes he was seeing on screen did not make any sense to him. That strange bean could not be a baby. 

 

“It looks fine to me, he is growing accordingly with the months! And you are already showing, that is a good sign. You are quiet underweight however, due to all the sickness. But the blood tests came out good, only a bit of iron deficiency but we will cover that. The morning sickness is different in every pregnancy, and Mr. Katsuki, I’m afraid you got the bad prize in this one but I will prescribe you some vitamins and medicines that will helps you with it without doing any harm to the baby. Now, if you want, I can continue to supervise your pregnancy, that is your choice, but if you want me too do it we can make another appointment for next month, when you will already be well in the second trimester and the nausea will have subdued importantly. Do you want the scan in a DVD?” 

 

Yuuri had left the clinic with a DVD of his baby in his hands and another appointment with Doctor Kanazawa. It was real after all, there was indeed a baby growing inside of him. He spent the journey back home in silence, Mari making the occasional remark, to which Yuuri answered with a nod or a humming noise. He needed to call Phichit, they had been texting but he still had not told him that he was keeping the baby. 

 

“Phichit.” They had finally found some time between Phichit’s practice and Yuuri’s work in the Onsen to call each other via Skype. The Thai boy was rejoiced at seeing his friend, but the ice rink behind Phichit did not look like the one they trained in. “Phichit, where are you?” 

 

“I went back to Thailand! Celestino stays for a few weeks at a time and the rest of the time I send him videos of my practices. It works for the both of us! It was so boring in Detroit without you, Yuuri, and I honestly missed my country!” 

 

“Oh! I’m so happy for you, Phichit. Listen, I have to tell you something. I… I am keeping the baby.” 

 

“REALLY?” The Thai screeched, a giant smile plastered to his face. “I am so happy Yuuri! I can’t wait till they are here, I am gonna be the best uncle ever!”

 

Yuuri chuckled at his friend and promised to send him the video of the scan, even though Yuuri had repeated a hundred times that he would not be able to see anything at all, much less a baby in those blurry images. 

 

“So… Victor?” Phichit asked, grimacing. 

 

“No news.” Yuuri said, his chest constricting. He had let himself hope that Victor actually wanted to continue in contact with him after knowing that he had left his phone number in the room. But the Russian had completely disappeared after the Worlds. 

 

“I’m sorry, Yuuri…” 

 

“Don’t be, this is going to be easier if I’m just, you know, out of the picture.” 

 

“So, you’re not gonna tell him?!” 

 

“No! Phichit, are you crazy? I would ruin him! Imagine: Victor Nikiforov, best skater in history, having a unknown child? No way. I am keeping this to myself.”

 

“Yuuri, but what if the child is born with silver hair, blue eyes and a Russian accent?” 

 

“Then I’ll lie. Victor will never know about this baby, promise me that Phichit. I’ll never see him again, anyways.” 

 

Oh, how wrong he was. The next day he woke up late as usual, with his stomach forcing him to run to the toilet to throw up. He was kneeling on the floor, hovering over the toilet and panting, trying to control his nausea when his father appeared at the doorway. 

 

“Yuuri, son! There is a foreigner downstairs who is asking for you.” 

 

“What…?” Yuuri muttered. He didn’t go down immediately, rinsing his mouth and dressing appropriately first. He had no idea who could be: was not internationally famous, he was only known in Kyushu after all, at that was because he had been born there. His mother was waiting for him at the end of the stairs, a brilliant smile on her face, signalling him to come quicker. 

 

“Oh Yuuri! I had no idea you and Vicchan were close! It’s such a nice surprise!” His mother was practically glowing, hugging his son close to her. 

 

“V-Vicchan? Who… Mom?” 

 

“He told us you had met at the Grand Prix and that he thought you were an amazing skater! You should have told us he would come visit, we would have prepared him the nicest room.” 

 

Oh, no, no, it couldn’t be. Yuuri rushed to the Onsen’s living room, where he could hear his father speak in broken English and his sister muttering something. And him. He could hear him; he heard his beautiful accented English, trying to explain Yuuri’s father how he had met his son. And then he turned around, his blue eyes locking with Yuuri’s. A wide heart shaped smile spread on his face and he quickly got up. 

 

“Yuuri! I am so happy to see you again.” He strutted towards Yuuri and enveloped him in a bear hug. He smelled so good and he was so warm that Yuuri thought he was going to die. He probably was anyways, because nothing was going according to his plan. 

 

“V-v-victor?!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos and comments, they feed my soul.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO SORRY I DID NOT UPLOAD IN 7T328YI23 YEARS, but I finally finished my uni exams and now it's summer and although it will be quiet a hectic summer, I will be able to update more, hopefully that is. 
> 
> So, it's a very small chapter, because there will be a small time jump next chapter ;)

Yuuri and Victor were seated down in one table, a table in-between them. Victor was the image of calmness: relaxed in his spot while he sipped on his beer with an easy-going smile, waiting for Yuuri to snap out of his shock. Yuuri, on the other hand, was almost vibrating with nerves in his spot, his expression blank, staring at the cup of tea in his hands.

 

Victor wanted to be Yuuri’s coach. His idol was in Japan, in his own home concretely, telling him that he was going to be his coach. Yuuri has dreaded this day, thinking that Victor would no way be capable of doing what Yuuri had drunkenly asked him to. But there he was, staring at Yuuri contently. And it would be a great opportunity… If he wasn’t pregnant. In the next few months, there was no way he would be able to step on the ice.

 

“So…” muttered Yuuri, still not looking up. Victor’s eyes perked up and stared at Yuuri expectantly. “I’m not… You can’t be my coach.”

 

“What? But, why?”

 

“I’m retiring.”

 

“But you’re good! I’ve been watching your programs, the only problem is the actual problems, your skills are good!”

 

“It’s not… It’s not about the skills or anything. I’m just retiring. I don’t want to compete anymore.  So you should go because… Because you’re losing your time here.”

 

But Yuuri did not sound convinced, he did not sound convinced at all, and Victor noticed. The Russian scrunched his eyebrows and gulped down what was left of his beer. They did not talk for a few minutes, both of them in their own thoughts.

 

How was Yuuri supposed to send Victor home without even a “thanks”? He was dying inside, having to lie like this to someone who he really admired and… And to the father of his child. Yuuri knew he had the right to know he was fathering a child but still, he felt like a gold-digger life-ruiner at just the thought of telling him.

 

“I just don’t understand…” whispered Victor, his head resting on his crossed arms on the table. “I don’t get it… You have so much potential… And you asked me!”

 

Yuuri felt something stab his heart. This was all his fault after all, he had been the one drunk out of his mind who had forgot about such promises, Victor remembered it all. He had no good excuse if he did not want to tell him about the pregnancy. Victor was staring at him with a hurt expression.

 

“I know, I’m sorry. Just… It’s just that things happened and I can’t continue skating anymore.”

 

“Things happened?” Victor repeated incredulously. The Russian snorted and shook his head. “Yuuri, I know you were drunk and all but, when we met during the World you didn’t tell me not to come. Is it because of what happened during the GPF? Because I watched it several times and it’s easily solvable. You are one of the best skaters right now, you are young, you cannot just… Retire out of nowhere.”

 

“You did!” Attacked Yuuri; he felt too close to telling the true, he had to find a way to redirect the conversation, he had to find a way to send Victor back to Russia, even if because of it Victor hated him.

 

The Russian stared at Yuuri for a few minutes without saying anything until he sighed and shook his head. “It’s not the same. I’m already 27, it’s a normal age to retire. And… And I’m lost, I can’t find any joy in figure skating anymore so… But I saw you, and you asked me and I don’t know, as cliché as it sounds, everything made sense again, I had a new purpose but now.”

 

“Well, take this new… This new purpose and make it yours.” Said Yuuri. “Fulfil it with your own skating. I can’t do it, I’m sorry.”

 

“But why can’t you, Yuuri? Please, tell me why, give me a good reason and I’ll forget about it.”

 

“No! There is no good reason, I’m just done with skating. I’m done.” Yuuri yelled, standing up. His hand travelled to his stomach unconsciously, and Victor followed the movement and then his eyes widened. He gulped down and then nodded slowly, standing up too. He approached Yuuri and hugged him tightly.

 

For a moment, the Japanese man’s breath hitched, fearing that Victor had found out the truth due to his movement, but the Russian said nothing about it, so Yuuri relaxed in the embrace and hugged him back, burrowing his face in Victor’s neck. They stood like that for what felt like hours but they still parted too soon for their taste.

 

“Well then… I’m sorry I bothered you, Yuuri. I should have asked before barging in here and demanding to be your coach. I did not take into account your feelings or opinions…”

 

“No! It’s okay, you have nothing to apologise for. It’s me… I… I’m sorry you wasted your time coming here and all. I’m really sorry. I wish things were different and you could be my coach… I would really like that.”

 

“I got to see you, so it wasn’t a waste of time!” Victor exclaimed, his eyes shinning despite the big smile he displayed. His gaze seemed to scrutiny Yuuri’s eyes before travelling to the door of the room. “I will go pack my things then… I’ll better get to Russia before Yakov finds out I’m not even there!” He joked, his laugh empty and sad. Yuuri furrowed his eyebrows as he stared at Victor leave the room.

 

His heart and chest ached, willing Victor to come back, ask him again, he would be weak and tell him and maybe… Maybe… But no, this was bigger than him, Victor’s career was at stake and he was a nobody, he had no right to tie him down.

 

So he let him go, he let Victor leave and as he stared at Victor’s taxi carry him away from the onsen the next morning to the airport. His last chance had fled and although he finally was able to breath freely, he cried himself to sleep for what could have been but never would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, please comment and leave kudos they feed my soul!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaay, two chaps in five days, that's a record for me. But really, the good stuff is coming now. Yuri's going to be kind of a jerk, so bear with it, I don't really like him, but whatevs. 
> 
> Sorry teh chaps are kinda short but... But that's just how I work hahaha

Telling his parents had been hard but his mother had been nothing but supportive and his father, although initially disappointed, had given him a shoulder to cry on too. It had been just a matter of time for the news to spread; his bump had started growing after the fourth month, when the nausea had recessed considerately and he had truly started eating for two. He had been diagnosed with a very mild pre-partum depression, but he had been blue for a very long time, a little bluer did not make much of a difference in his day to day life. 

When he could he helped his parents in the onsen, in the less arduous task like checking in the few clients or helping in the kitchen. However, when the sixth month kicked in, his back was actively hurting everyday. Yuuko was being a great help, lending him all the pregnancy pillows she had and giving him all the tips she found more useful. 

However, no one still knew about the other father of the baby, and luckily, no one pried for information. Although everyone who had been told asked, when he denied the information he was not asked for further details, what left him, thankfully, at peace. However, as Phihit had put it, if the baby came out silver-haired, blue-eyed and speaking Russian he would have some explaining to do. 

“Look at you! You look huge!” Squaled Phichit, bouncing towards Yuuri and embracing him tightly. He had taken a few days off of training and had decided to visit him after months of not seeing each other. “Three months and I will be an uncle! I am so so so excited, I’ve already started buying things!” 

“What?” Exclaimed Yuuri, trying to pry his friend off him. It was June, and the pregnancy was just making him hotter, he did not need anyone latching onto him with the heat and the sweating that was already going on in his body. “I don’t even know the gender yet.” 

“So? It’s just toys and baby stuff, you don’t need the gender for that!” The Thai boy wiggled the bunch of bags he had in his arms. “How come you do not know the baby’s gender still, anyways? I read that normally, it was like around the forth or fifth month.” 

“Yeah, but the baby was not facing us by then, he had his back turned so yeah, we couldn’t see it. However, he seems to have shifted.” 

“He?” Phichit perked up and smiled brightly at his friend. 

“Ah, it has stuck to me. My mum is pretty sure it’s a boy because when she was pregnant with me all she craved was sweet things while with my sister she craved salty things. I don’t know, not really reliable but I really didn’t feel comfortable calling him ‘it’.” Yuuri said, while helping Phichit with his bags, carrying them to one of the best rooms they had. 

“Oooh, imagine, a little Victuuri running around!” Phichit shrieked, dropping all his bags down while he bounced on the balls of his feet. Yuuri blinked the sweat off his eyes and raised his eyebrows. 

“A little what?” 

“Victuuri! It’s the name of your ship, Victor and you!” 

Yuuri just sighed and shook his head, deciding not to make any further comment on it. After Victor’s impromptu trip to Hasetsu, Phichit had boarded the ship of “Victor and Yuuri are soulmates” and refused to get down back to earth. No matter how many times the Japanese had tried to convince his friend, the Thai had just ignored him and continued dreaming of the perfect wedding on ice. 

Later that day, when the sun was already setting and the heat was more bearable, Yuuri and Phichit had gone on a stroll around the castle, the younger one taking photos of everything, including an unwilling Yuuri. 

“Don’t you dare post anything with me in it to Instagram.” Yuuri threatened, but Phichit had just stuck out his tongue and had gone on taking photos telling him how “This light really accents your beauty, Yuuri, smile for the camera! Touch your belly!”. The world still did not know he was pregnant, and he did not have the fame Victor had so, the fact that only the Hasetsu inhabitants and the few people that visited their onsen knew was not really a problem. And Yuuri was fine with that, he was perfectly fine with the anonymity leaving there brought him. Fate, however, had other plans. 

While on their stroll, Yuuri’s phone started ringing aggressively in his pocket and checking the caller ID, Yuuri left Phichit alone, sill being all tourist-y, while he responed. 

“Mari? Is something wrong?” 

“There’s a really angry blond kid here in Yu-topia looking for you. He has insulted you several times and I would kick his ass but you know, he is really a kid, can’t be older than ten if you ask me.” 

“A blond kid?” Yuuri asked, not really knowing who that could be. 

“Yes, European looking, I think he might be a skater, judging that he is yelling your name, cursing Victor Nikiforov too, and telling us that he will skate over your ass as soon as he sees you.” 

Oh, no. No. It couldn’t be… There was no way life would be so cruel to Yuuri and do that to him. They returned as fast as they could, Phichit dumbstruck by the sudden nerves that had taken over Yuuri. However, not matter how many times he asked what was happening, the Japanese boy did not answer him and just ran a little bit faster to the Onsen. 

They were both breathless when they arrived, and Yuuri had probably lost ten pounds in sweat only. And there he was, Yuri Plisetsky, yelling in Russian to Mari’s face while she just stared at him with raised eyebrows and a cigarette hanging from her mouth. Yuuri stood still, pondering what he could do. He really did not want to deal with the Russian kid, but at the same time, Yuri trained with Victor and maybe he was there because something had happened or…

“You! You stupid pig!!” Or maybe he just wanted to insult him, like he had done during the GPF. Yuuri sighed defeated, and waddled his way to the inside of the inn, seating down as soon as he could. His legs were trembling from the effort of running and he needed to hydrate himself urgently. “OI! Don’t ignore me, you asshole.”

“Hey, stop insulting, kid, or I’ll kick your ass.” Mari threatened, stepping on his cigarette before glaring at the Russian boy. Yuri, however, wasn’t fazed by the threat, he snickered at her and pursued the Japanese skater. 

“Pig, I’m here to force you to mend the mess you made.” The Russian hollered. 

“Mess? What mess?” 

“Victor! Stupid old man won’t stop whining about you: Oooooh my Yuuri doesn’t love me anymore, he doesn’t want to be my skater, blah blah blah. He thinks you are ill, and dying or something and that is why you won’t skate. I know it’s a lie! You are perfectly healthy, only hella fat, so go and tell him so he can actually put up a good program for me!” 

Yuuri stood shell-shocked, staring at the Russian Yuri with wide eyes and a gaping mouth. Victor had thought he was ill, but why? What reasons had he given him to think that? Maybe he had seen him throw up and had assumed the worst… And… Love him? Sure Plisetsky must have made that up, there was no way Victor loved him, or expected Yuuri to love him and actually wanted it. No way… There was no way… 

“Hey! Snap out of it! You are coming to Russia!” Yuri shouted, already reaching forward to grab Yuuri’s arm. 

“WHAT? NO! He can’t travel there while he is pregnant!” Phichit shouted, pushing the Russian away. And then everyone froze, especially the two Yuris. Yuri’s eyes travelled from Phichit’s face to Yuuri’s belly, where the Japanese boy was resting his hands, as if he pushed hard enough it would hide away. 

“You… You are pregnant?” 

Yuuri just nodded, turning his head down. Now the Russian knew and he would probably tell Victor, and well… He was fucked up. He had worked so hard to hide it from the father for nothing, he would bring shame to Victor no matter what. Failure always found him, some way or another. Dark thoughts plagued Yuuri’s mind and he did not even want to cry or shout or explain himself, he just wanted to go to his room, be left alone to curl under the duvet. 

“Oh my god …. I’m so sorry, Yuuri, I didn’t mean…” 

“It’s okay, Phichit. Yes, I am pregnant. Please… Please don’t tell Victor.” Yuuri pleaded, his eyes full of unshed tears. At first Yuri looked shocked by the imploring but then his eyes turned hard as steel and sneered. 

“No, you’re telling him yourself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, please leave kudos and notes they cool down my summer.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaaay another chapter. THANK YOU SO MUCH GUYS, wow, there were so many comments in the last chapter, I was amazed I love you so much so sosososo much. Anways, next week I'm going to London so I don't know when I will be able to post again, sorry :/ 
> 
> Yay, now we know the baby's gender tho

_You should eat more vitamins, they are good for the baby and will help with the nausea. Stress is bad for the baby. Take these pills with every meal, they are iron, for the baby, as you have are a bit low. Oh, and by the way, it’s a boy…_

It’s a boy.

 

That was the only thing that registered in Yuuri’s mind. The baby had been an “it” until then, barely real even though the movement was pretty real inside him. But now it had gender, he had gender and he could start looking for a name and… And he was feeling dizzy. He put his head against the taxi’s window, tuning out Phichit’s babbling about all they could buy now that they knew the baby’s gender.

 

“Yuuri? Yuuri we’ve arrived. Are you okay? You look a little pale, do you have to throw up?” Asked Phichit, alarmed. Yuuri shook his head with a small smile and got out of the taxi. Phcihit was by his side seconds later, grabbing his arm, as if he could not walk for himself. Well, walk, waddle. Because that was what he did, waddle like a penguin because of the belly.

 

The Russian Yuri was still in the onsen, and it did not look like he was leaving any time soon. He had even talked, or screamed, Yuuko and Nishigori to let him use the skating rink privately whenever he wanted. And he wanted it a lot. But what Yuuri feared more was the fact that Yuri would call Victor any moment and tell him. He still had not done it, despite his threats and Yuuri had managed to avoid the topic for the three whole days the Russian had been there.

 

“Yuuri, welcome home!” Exclaimed his mother when he and Phichit entered the dinning room, where his mother was serving the customers. His father turned around with a brigh smile, his eyes asking what everyone wanted to know. “How did the appointment go? Is the baby okay? What’s the gender?”

 

“Yes, mom, the baby’s okay. He’s a boy.” Yuuri said with an embarrassed small smile. All the customers and his family cheered and his father started a free round of beer for everyone to celebrate. What was to celebrate, Yuuri did not know. The baby had been there for a few months already, they knew he could be a boy or a girl, it was not like there were a lot of choices.

 

“Aaah, Yuuri, I’m so happy. I don’t ever want to leave. I might call Celestino, see if I can stay…”

 

“No, Phichit, you have to train. Soon the Grand Prix will be here and you will have to win gold.” Yuuri said to his friend, who was already rummaging through his phone in search of his coach’s number.

 

“Ha!” The Russian Yuri entered the room and plopped down on the floor next to a table, where a glass of juice, presumably his, was. “I will be the one to win the gold, pig and hamster. Don’t even dream about it for a moment.”

 

“Hamster?” Mumbled Phichit. Yuri just glared at him, daring Phichit to complain about his nickname. The Thai boy just shrugged; he loved hamster, it was fine for him. Yuuri, slowlier than a snail, sat down on the tatami beside Phichit, who was there to help accommodate him any way he could, which sometimes drove Yuuri mad.

 

“By the way, heard that it’s a boy. Congrats.” Yuri mumbled, trying to sound non-chanlant while he watched the TV. “You can tell Victor tomorrow.”

 

“WHAT?” Yuuri and Phichit screamed, although the former’s sounded more like a very loud shriek. Yuri just glared mischievously at them and smiled.

 

“Yep, told him to days ago about you. Now, he must already be at the airport.”

 

Yuuri felt everything around him was crumbling down, like he was falling through an endless tunnel and everything around him was just a blurry mess of colours and sounds. He had to be dying, for sure, he had never felt like that in his entire life. Victor was coming to Hasetsu again, and what was worse… Victor knew he was pregnant. No. No. Did Yuri know Victor was the father? He couldn’t, he had told no one but his close confidants and Phichit did not publish it anywhere. Maybe he still could save it, maybe…

 

“Yuuri! Yuuri, you look so pale, oh my god, is he gonna faint?” He heard several voices shouting his name around him but he couldn’t focus he couldn’t answer. He felt so bad, he wanted to lie down in a foetal position and maybe never see anyone ever again. _Is this how the world ends?_

 

He stood up on shaky legs, feeling like a baby deer during its first steps. He mumbled something, probably that he was going to the toilet, and it was no lie, because he had to throw up and he did not want to barf all over the tatami. It was hard to clean, he knew it from first hand. He tripped his way to the toilet and finally emptied the contents of his stomach in the toilet bowl. He did not have to wait long until there was a hand on his back, rubbing soothing circles.

 

“Yuuri…?” Phichit’s voice sounded truly worried. Yuuri just shook his head, a sign that told Phichit that he really did not want to and could not talk about anything right then. They both went to Yuuri’s bedroom when the nausea had passed and laid down, Phichit telling him something about Celestino.

 

Maybe they had been an hour like that, Phichit still rambling about trivial things and tried to distract Yuuri. However, Yuuri’s mind was going over and over the same problem, the same difficulty he would have to face in less than 24 hours.

 

“They don’t know.” Yuuri mumbled, interrupting Phichit’s ramble about the advantaged of chinchillas over ferrets. “My parents, they don’t know Victor is the father. Mari either. Only you, right now. Yuuko I think has some ideas about it but…”

 

“Oh Yuuri… Will you… Will you tell him?” Phichit asked, taking Yuuri’s hand between his.

 

“I don’t know.” Yuuri’s voice broke. Every fibber of his body was asking him to not tell him, to not do it. But his heart said the contrary; he still had the crazy dream that Victor would fall in love with him after finding out that he was carrying his child and they would live happily ever after. But if Yuuri knew something about life it was that happily ever after don’t exist. At least not for him.

 

“You… You think I should?” Asked Yuuri. Phichit hummed low, directing his eyes to the ceiling, something he did when he was in deep thought.

 

“I think you should. I really think you should. Not only for the fact that Victor deserves to know about his son, but also because you deserve someone by your side, you don’t have to do this alone. And I know you have me, you have your family, your friends. But it’s not the same type of support.” Said Phichit. Yuuri had never seen him like that, so serious. He wondered when that crazy seventeen-year-old he had met in Detroit had developed into a fully-grown adult man that talked about pregnancy and difficult decisions with him.

 

Yuuri nodded and rested his head on Phichit’s shoulder, a couple of tears falling down from his eyes. He did not have the strength to cry, but he felt like he had to let out his emotions one way or another. The stress was bad for the baby, so he had to find a way to tranquilize himself, and crying always worked efficiently, even if the puffy eyes and wet face were a downside.

 

Phichit just hugged him close while he continued his rambling, engaging Yuuri in some Detroit stories, telling him about Thailand or fanboying over his favourite movies. And Yuuri felt calm, as calm as he could feel knowing that a storm was brewing outside and that at any moment, that storm from Russia would burst through the onsen’s door to tear down Yuuri’s tranquil life. A small typhoon had been sent as a warning before but Victor was the real tropical storm, not Yuri. And Yuuri, although furious that a fifteen-year-old boy had done something he did not want him to do on his behalf, could not blame him. Everyone thought that it was what was best for him, telling Victor. So he would do it.

 

However, he didn’t feel ready when he woke up to the shout of his name by a very familiar accent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading, please leave kudos and comments. 
> 
> You can find me on tumblr @trassh-on-ice and IG @yuzuuonice, come and talk to me about whateeeever you feel like.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well shit sorry, I am so so sorry that the wait was so long but I went places and my uncle died and my friend's father died too, the same day so it was a rollercoaster 
> 
> So, here, unexpected turn of events and drama

The Russian practically sprinted to Yuuri’s room, banging against the walls, tripping on his own feet to get there. He had been buzzing since Yuri had called him and had told him that: “Oi, idiot, the pig is not dying but he has some serious news to tell you”. He had basically run to the airport, where he ignored all the calls from an angry Yakov, and took the next direct flight to Japan and then got on the next train to Hasestu. He had not even taken a taxi, he had ran, suitcase trailing behind him, to the Onsen.

 

And there was Yuuri, who had just awaken, his hair dishevelled, his glasses askew, his pyjama too big on him, except on the… On the tummy, where a very noticeable and quite round bump was. This was not fat, certainly not. His legs were pretty skinny and although he was chubbier in the face since the last time Victor had seen him, he was certainly not fat to match the roundness of his middle. So… That left only one option, and that one shattered Victor’s heart.

 

“Yuuri…” He whispered, feeling himself breathless, partially from the run there but mostly from the shock. “You are…”

 

Yuuri’s eyes filled with unshed tears and he felt his legs tremble beneath him. His heart beat was faster than ever, and one of his hands travelled unconsciously to the tummy, as if he could protect the baby from all the stress his body was feeling at that moment. Victor himself felt his hands trembled and sweat, his world shattering around him. He had been sad that Yuuri had refused, had been battling with himself to go and see him again: maybe he was ill, that is why he couldn’t skate… But then again, it had been Yuuri the one who had asked him to leave. He did not want to bother him. Yet, there he was. Yuuri was not ill, Yuuri was pregnant.

 

Up until then he still had the chance to woo him, to really make the Japanese boy fall in love with him but… He was with someone else. He should have thought of it; there was no way Yuuri could be single.

 

Yuuri’s breath trembled. “I’m sorry…. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

 

Victor did not answer, his gaze was still firmly fixed on the boy in front of him, travelling from his face, which was getting paler every second that passed; his hand tightened on his bump and his knees trembled even more. Victor did not know what to say, or how to feel. He had no reason to feel betrayed; they had no relationship, but still… He felt his chest constricted, like his heart was actively hurting and his lungs had decided to not work with him. For the first time in his life… He wanted to cry.

 

“It’s…” Victor muttered. “You didn’t have to… I… I mean… It’s none of my concern…”

 

“What…?” Yuuri asked breathlessly, like he had just been punched on the stomach. He gasped for breath and his knees buckled under his weight. He fell to the floor on his knees as he felt a sharp pain go through his abdomen. Both hands quickly cupped his tummy as he doubled over, the tears finally spilling from his eyes. Victor watched all that with pained eyes, his arms struggling to keep himself from going to his aid. But it was not his place… It was not his…

 

“Yuuri!” Quick footsteps approached the scene, and suddenly Phichit pushed Victor away from the middle of the small hallway and kneeled beside Yuuri. “Yuuri, are you okay? Are you in pain?” Then Phichit whipped his head around, so fast that Victor could almost hear his neck break. “What the hell? Why aren’t you helping him?”

 

But Victor barely heard the words, he was still analysing everything he was feeling. And then… There was Yuuri, hunched on the floor, crying and sobbing silently. He whispered Yuuri’s name and then kneeled and crawled towards the boy, not touching him but hovering on his personal space.

 

“Yuuri, Yuuri…” He repeated, until the Japanese man squeaked and hunched more over his bump.

 

“It… It hurts.” Yuuri whimpered. “It hurts so much.”

 

And with those pained words, Phichit sprang to action. He told Victor to stay with Yuuri and he ran out of the hallway, calling for Mari. Victor could not help himself anymore; he took Yuuri on his arms, and cradled him against his chest. He felt his body stiff and too cold, he was sweating and small sobs wracked his body, a whimper escaping every time a sharp pain went through him.

 

“I’m sorry…” Victor mumbled against Yuuri’s sweaty hair. Yuuri shook his head imperceptibly and one of his hands travelled to Victor’s arm, where he clutched the Russian’s arm.

 

Then Phichit appeared with Yuuri’s father and mother, and Victor heard Yuuri’s sister’s voice shouting something in Japanese. Yuuri’s mother quickly kneeled down, his face the mask of worry and fear. Victor, begrudgingly, left Yuuri’s side so Phichit could help him get up, despite Yuuri’s knees shaking so hard he could barely stand up.

 

“Be of some use and go wait for the ambulance!” Shouted Phichit. Victor nodded and scrambled away from the scene, never taking his eyes off Yuuri until he exited the hallway. His heart was still beating wildly and fear and worry had pooled on his stomach, weighing him down more than a hundred pounds on his shoulders.

 

Mari was telling something to the customers, and Victor put on his shoes, his hands trembling a bit too much. He exited the Onsen, and he already could hear the sirens wailing on the distance. He wanted to go back inside, see Yuuri, and help him, help him any way he could.

 

The ambulance was just parking in front of the Onsen when Yuuri exited with Hiroko’s and Phichit’s help. The boy was nearly passed out, his face white as a sheet, his hair matted with sweat and his face tear-stricken. The paramedics rushed past Victor and quickly helped Yuuri onto a stretcher. All that happened in a rush, and suddenly the ambulance was speeding off, with Yuuri and Hiroko in it. Phichit and Yuuri’s father were talking rushed as they walked towards the car. Mari stared at the scene, with concerned eyes, from the door. And then, Phichit turned to Victor.

 

“Are you coming to the hospital?”

 

Victor shook off the shock that was still on his shoulders and quickly walked to the car, climbing on the back seats. The ride to the hospital was almost quite, only the sound of the radio feeling the worried silence. The ambulance had long arrived when they parked and got into the ER waiting room. Hiroko was there, pacing up and down in the almost empty room.

 

“How is he?” Yuuri’s father quickly asked his wife. Hiroko shook her head, her brow creased with worry.

 

“I don’t know. When we told them it was about the baby they rushed him inside one of the rooms and told me to wait here, that they would examine what was wrong first and see what they could do. So, here I am.” Toshiya hugged his wife close and both Phichit and Victor averted their eyes from the couple, giving them privacy.

 

The hospital was not busy, it was unnervingly calm; it did not fit the turmoil that was inside Victor at that moment. But finally, one of the nurses came out of the room where they had taken Yuuri according to Hiroko and approached them with a serious face. Too serious for anyone’s liking.

 

“How is my son, is he okay?” Hiroko quickly demanded, standing up, backed up by her husband. The nurse did not answer the question.

 

“We will bring him into the operation theatre after a few analytics. All the symptoms indicate that he has gone into early labour and according to your information the baby is not even seven months old yet.” Victor did not understand anything of what was being said, neither Phichit, but by Hiroko and Toshiya’s face, it could not be anything good. “We’ll try what we can to ensure the father and the child’s safety and lives but we can’t promise anything. The premature labour might have been helped by the anxiety and stress the patient was suffering, so his body is in a great strain right now. We will do our best.”

 

Toshiyo translated the news for Phichit and Victor, both of them slumped on their chairs. Hiroko was already holding her tears, her eyes fixed on the door the nurse had disappeared into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos and comments to help me get more hours of sleep, cause I need them


	12. NOT A CHAPTER

HEY PEOPLE

I'm sorry this is not a chapter but my muses have COMPLETELY left me, It's been months since I last managed to write something DECENT, and for this fic... I really don't like it. I don't like how I did it, how I wrote it. I like the idea and the plot more or less but not how I wrote it or developed it. Thing is, people have been asking for me to continue it and I might. But I also might not. 

I'm in a kind of difficult point in my life: my country is becoming independent from Spain meanwhile I am in Ireland living for afew months, studying in a whole different university and working my ass off in it. I have to read so many shit I don't know where to begin and my anxiety is sky-rocketing again. So, yeah, writing, my love, has left me... 

Anyways, yes, this might continue, but it might take a while. But I might leave it... 

IF ANYONE WANTS TO CONTINUE THIS I WILL GLADLY GIVE THEM THE STORY, JUST ASK! 

Thank you for your patience :)

**Author's Note:**

> Leave kudos and comments, they feed my soul! Thank you!


End file.
